一个人到老年后会想些什么|余世存杂记108

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年轻人的目光被称为“z世代的凝视”，说他们在社会场合中，经常有一种持久、空洞、面无表情的注视。这让我想起另一个时代的年轻人，我在《非常道》一书中有一章节叫做“神伤”，讲的都是让人黯然神伤的历史细节，在这一章的最后，我收录了这么一则故事：“张远山曾有短暂的教书生涯。有一天上课时，他给学生提问说，请举出一次人生伤心的经验。半天无人应答，后来一个女生站起来，慢慢地说，‘读中国近代史的时候。’”

后生之目，时人谓之“Z世代之凝视”。言其于交际之际，常持一久、空、面无表情之注视。此景令吾忆及往昔之少年。余尝著《非常道》一书，中有“神伤”一章，所载皆令人黯然之史事。章末，录一事曰：“张远山尝为师，然未久。一日授课，问诸生曰：‘请言生平最伤心之事。’良久，无人应。后有一女学子起，徐徐曰：‘读中国近代史时也。’”

The gaze of young people today has been termed “the Gen Z stare,” suggesting that in social settings, they often maintain a prolonged, vacant, and expressionless look. This reminds me of the youth of another era.In my book, Feichang Dao (The Extraordinary Path), there is a chapter titled “Spiritual Wounds,” which is a collection of historical details that cause one to feel a deep, quiet sorrow. At the end of this chapter, I included the following story:“Zhang Yuanshan had a brief career as a teacher. One day in class, he posed a question to his students: ‘Please share an experience from your life that caused you great sorrow.’ For a long while, no one responded. Then, a female student stood up and said slowly, ‘When I was reading modern Chinese history.’”

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一个人到老年后会想些什么，有的人会有遗憾，有的人会很得意自己的成绩，但钱穆先生在晚年的时候想的是中国文化对人类未来可有的贡献。那时候他已经95岁了，那一年，他去香港参加新亚书院创校庆典，有一天他郑重地对爱人说，我发明一个从未想到的大发现，真高兴，我要讲给你听。他再三说，我发明了中国古人天人合一观的伟大，我要写篇大文章了。这将是我晚年最后的成就了。他的爱人听后说，天人合一观不是你早已讲过多次了吗？你怎么自己忘了呢？钱穆的回答是，讲过的话，也可再讲。理解不同，讲法也不同。从香港回到台湾的路上，钱穆又提起他的天人合一观，他说，“这一趟去香港真好，想不到我竟在这趟旅行中，发明了我自己从来没想到的大理论。我已经九十五岁了，还能有此澈悟，此生足以自慰。”但因为种种原因，钱穆先生没有能自己写出这一篇大文章，而是由他口述，由爱人钱胡美琦笔录，两千多字，题目就是“中国文化对人类未来可有的贡献”。这篇文章成了钱穆先生最后的文章，也是一个学者生前最后的心声。从这个细节中，我们更能理解钱穆在抗战最艰难的时候所说的，任何一国国民应该具有对其本国历史的“温情与敬意”。

人至暮年，所思何如？或有憾者，或有矜其功业者。然钱穆先生晚岁，所思者，乃中国文化于人类未来或可之贡献也。时年九十有五，赴港，与新亚书院创校之庆。一日，郑重谓其妻曰：“吾有前所未思之大发现，心甚悦，当为汝言之。”复再三曰：“吾发明中国古人之‘天人合一’观之伟大，当著一文。此将为我暮岁之绝笔也。”其妻闻之曰：“天人合一之观，君非屡言之乎？何自忘之？”钱穆答曰：“言虽旧，意可新。解之不同，言之亦异。”自港返台途中，复提其天人合一之观，曰：“此行赴港，善哉！不意竟于旅途中，得此前所未悟之大论。吾年已九十有五，尚能澈悟，此生足慰。”然因故，钱穆先生未及自著此文，乃口述，由其妻钱胡美琦笔录，凡二千余言，题曰“中国文化对人类未来可有的贡献”。此文遂为先生绝笔，亦学者平生最后之心声也。由此一节，吾辈愈可明钱穆先生于抗战至艰之时所言：“凡一国国民，当于本国历史，有温情与敬意。”

At that time, he was ninety-five years old. He traveled to Hong Kong to attend the founding anniversary of New Asia College. One day, he said solemnly to his wife, “I have made a great discovery that I had never thought of before. I am so happy; I must tell you about it.” He repeated with emphasis, “I have discovered the greatness of the ancient Chinese concept of ‘the unity of Heaven and humanity.’ I must write a major essay on it. This will be my final achievement in my later years.” His wife, upon hearing this, said, “Haven’t you spoken about the concept of ‘the unity of Heaven and humanity’ many times before? How could you have forgotten it yourself?” Mr. Qian Mu replied, “Even if something has been said before, it can be said again. With different understanding, the way of explaining it is also different. ” On the journey back to Taiwan from Hong Kong, Mr. Qian Mu brought up his concept of the unity of Heaven and humanity again. He said, “This trip to Hong Kong was truly wonderful. I never imagined that I would arrive at this great theory, which I had never realized before, during this journey. I am already ninety-five, and yet I can have such a profound enlightenment. My life is now complete and I can die content.” However, due to various circumstances, Mr. Qian Mu was unable to write this great essay himself. Instead, he dictated it, and his wife, Qian Hu Meiqi, transcribed it. The piece was over two thousand characters long and was titled “The Contribution Chinese Culture Can Make to the Future of Humanity.” This essay became Mr. Qian Mu’s final piece of writing, the last heartfelt message of a scholar before his death.From this detail ,we can better understand what Mr.Qian said during the most difficult times of the War of Resistance:"The citizens of any nation should hold a 'warm affection and reverence' for their own national history".

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季羡林晚年曾有过一个说法，就是人类文化会有三十年河东、三十年河西的现象。这个观点遭到很多人的批评，有人甚至认为他反智。季羡林自己解释说，这个问题与其说是一个理论，不如说是一个历史事实。人类历史上有过很多文化或文明，生生灭灭，变动不已，从广义上看，这就是三十年河东，三十年河西。把范围缩小一点，就是东西方两大文化体系，季老的意思是，我们曾经河东过，近一二百年不得不看着河西，未来是否再河东呢？季羡林的观点很有些我们中国人说的轮流坐庄的意思，比如历史上的春秋五霸，就是各区域大国轮流称霸。我们曾经流行过不是东风压倒西风，就是西风压倒东风，还有东升西降一类的说法儿。季羡林的这个说法虽然不好证伪，但一个文化大家表述像市井流行的话语，让不少人觉得不够有理性，不够有思想含量。

季羡林先生晚岁尝有言，谓人类文化有“三十年河东，三十年河西”之象。此论为人所非议者甚众，或有斥其反智者。先生自解曰：此与其谓之理论，不若谓之史实也。人类史上，文化文明，生生灭灭，变动不居，自广义观之，即所谓‘三十年河东，三十年河西’耳。若缩小其域，则东西二大文化体系是也。季老之意，吾辈曾为‘河东’，近一二百年，不得不望‘河西’；未来能否复为‘河东’乎？季老之说，颇有吾华所谓“轮流坐庄”之意。譬如春秋五霸，列国递相称雄。吾国亦尝有“不是东风压倒西风，便是西风压倒东风”，及“东升西降”诸语。季老此说，虽难证伪，然以文化大家之身，出市井流俗之言，令多人以为其理不深，思不精也。

In his later years, Ji Xianlin once proposed that human culture exhibits a phenomenon of “thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river.” This view was criticized by many, with some even accusing him of being anti-intellectual.Ji Xianlin himself explained that this idea is less of a theory and more of a historical fact. Throughout human history, many cultures or civilizations have risen and fallen, constantly in flux. Broadly speaking, this is what he meant by “thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river.” Narrowing the scope, he was referring to the two great cultural systems of the East and the West. Mr. Ji’s point was: “We once had our turn on the ‘east bank’; for the past one or two hundred years, we have had to watch the ‘west bank.’ Will we return to the ‘east bank’ in the future?”
Ji Xianlin’s view carries a sense of what we Chinese call “taking turns in the driver’s seat”—for instance, the Five Hegemons of the Spring and Autumn period were regional great powers that rose to dominance in succession. We have also had popular sayings such as “Either the east wind prevails over the west wind, or the west wind prevails over the east wind,” and expressions like “the east rises while the west declines.”
Although Ji Xianlin’s statement is difficult to falsify, the fact that a major cultural figure expressed himself in such colloquial, popular terms led many to feel that it lacked rational depth and intellectual substance.

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有一次跟一个校友聊天，说起认识的一个朋友，没念过书，来北京打拼，几年后做到几家汽车修理店的经理，不仅自己成家立业，还把弟弟、妹妹都找到工作，帮他们帮房成家。反观我们这些读书人，大学毕业多年，要么生计成问题，要么混出来了，跟家人关系也淡了。这个校友很有同感，说我们把书都读到狗肚子里去了。据说不少受过教育的人亲情淡漠，传统文化说读书明理，知书达礼，但传统文化也说，仗义每从屠狗辈，负心多是读书人。有些老年朋友也说，孩子没读大学，还能在身边陪伴，受了大学教育就是一去不返了。我的老师钱理群教授说过，我们的教育培养的是精致的利己主义者。今天的读书人真的是一个自私自利的阶层吗？

尝与一校友闲谈，言及一友，未尝读书，来京谋生，数载间，遂为数家车肆之经理。非独成家立业，亦为其弟妹谋职置宅，助其成家。反观吾辈读书人，大学毕业多年，或生计维艰，或稍有成就，然与亲族之情亦渐疏矣。校友深以为然，曰：“吾辈读书，尽入狗腹中矣。”俗云，读书明理，知书达礼；然亦云：仗义每多屠狗辈，负心多是读书人。亦有长者言，子若未入大学，尚可侍奉左右；既受高等教育，则一去不返矣。吾师钱理群教授尝言：“今日之教育，所育者，乃精致之利己主义者也。”然则，今之读书人，果为一自私自利之辈乎？ Once, I was chatting with an alumnus and mentioned a friend of mine who had never received formal schooling. He came to Beijing to make his way in the world, and within a few years, became the manager of several auto repair shops. Not only did he establish his own family and career, but he also found jobs for his younger brother and sister, helping them buy homes and start families. In contrast, many of us who went to university—years after graduation—either struggle to make a living, or, if we do succeed, find our relationships with family have grown distant.The alumnus deeply agreed and said, “It seems we’ve read all our books into a dog’s belly.”
It is said that many educated people grow emotionally detached from their families. Traditional culture holds that reading enlightens reason and knowledge fosters etiquette. Yet traditional culture also says: “Righteousness is often found among butchers and dog dealers, while the heartless are mostly scholars.” Some elderly friends have also remarked that if their children hadn’t gone to college, they might still stay by their side; but once they receive a higher education, they are gone for good.
My professor, Qian Liqun, once said: “Our education system today cultivates ‘exquisitely selfish egoists.’”
But are today’s educated people truly a selfish and self-serving class? 05

每个人都是特殊的，但每个人都可以跟世界链接，这就是哲学家们说的“同于大全”，大全就是无限的丰富。文化也是这样，在一种文化里生活得有意义了，就能同于这种文化。比如德国人歌德、托马斯-曼先后说过，我在哪里，德国文化就在哪里。我们中国也有这样的人，比如章太炎就曾说，他死了，华夏文化就消亡了。当代人余英时先生也有名言，我在哪里，中国就在哪里。让一个民族或国家的历史、文化汇聚到一个人的心灵和头脑里，这是我们个人生命了不起的成就。我们个人只要自同于大全，就能把自己有各种萤房或小小的悲欢里解放出来，这就是古人说的，大其心，则能体天下之物。这就是金刚经里说的，应无所住而生其心，也是金刚经里说的，皆大欢喜，信受奉行。

余世存作品

人皆殊异，然皆可通于天下，此即哲者所谓“同于大全”者也。大全者，无限之丰盈也。文化亦然。苟于一文化中得其意义，则可同于此文化。如德人歌德、托马斯·曼先后云：“吾在何处，德意志文化即在何处。”吾华亦有若此之人，如章太炎尝言：“吾死，则华夏文化亡矣。”今人余英时先生亦有名言曰：“吾在何处，中国即在何处。”使一国一族之历史文化，萃于一心一脑，此吾辈生命之至高成就也。人苟能自同于大全，则可自种种萤房、小小悲欢中解脱而出。此即古人所谓“大其心，则能体天下之物”。亦如《金刚经》所云：“应无所住而生其心”，又曰：“皆大欢喜，信受奉行”。 Every individual is unique, yet each can connect with the world. This is what philosophers call “identifying with the Great Whole”—the Great Whole being infinite richness. Culture works in the same way: if one lives meaningfully within a culture, one can become one with it. For instance, the Germans Goethe and Thomas Mann both said, “Where I am, there German culture is.” In China, we have had similar figures. Zhang Taiyan once remarked, “When I die, Chinese culture will perish.” The contemporary scholar Yu Ying-shih also famously said, “Where I am, there China is.”To concentrate the history and culture of a nation into one’s own mind and spirit—this is a monumental achievement in our individual lives. As long as we can identify ourselves with the Great Whole, we can liberate ourselves from the small cocoons and fleeting joys and sorrows of personal life. This is what the ancients meant when they said, “Expand your mind, and you can comprehend all things under heaven.” It is also echoed in the Diamond Sutra: “Abide nowhere, and give rise to the mind,” and again, “All were greatly pleased, and faithfully received and practiced it.” 06

有一大学教授的公子厌学，初中未毕业即辍学。教授不得已，听之任之。公子自己在家鼓捣，喜欢上摇滚，在父母亲友的托举下，竟成一音乐人。媒体公开之后，一时有励志之功。但有人为此说，“这孩子要不是生在教授家里，而是生在底层市民或者农家，早就打螺丝送外卖去了。”“北京的学渣可以做乐师，农村的学渣大概率做扎钢筋师。”也有人就此类评论而评论说，这有点儿像李斯看见仓鼠和厕鼠而发出的感慨：“人之贤不肖譬如鼠矣，在所自处耳。”

有大学教授之子，厌于学，未及初中而辍。父不得已，听之。子乃自于家中摸索，好摇滚之乐，赖父母亲友之助，竟成乐师。事闻于媒体，一时传为佳话，以为励志。然或有议者曰：“此子若非生于教授之家，而出于市井寒门或农家，则早为工役，或送外卖矣。”又曰：“京师之劣者可为乐师，乡野之劣者，大抵为扎筋之工耳。”亦有评此议者曰，此颇类李斯见仓鼠与厕鼠而叹曰：“人之贤不肖譬如鼠矣，在所自处耳。” There was the son of a university professor who grew weary of studying and dropped out before finishing junior high. The professor, having no alternative, let him be. The young man tinkered at home, developed a passion for rock music, and with the support of his parents and relatives, unexpectedly became a musician. After the story was reported by the media, it was for a time celebrated as an inspirational tale.However, some commented, “Had this child not been born into a professor’s family, but to a lower-class urban or rural household, he would have long been working in a factory or delivering food.” Others added, “An underachiever in Beijing can become a musician; an underachiever in the countryside will most likely end up as a rebar worker.”
In response to such remarks, some observers noted that this was much like the sigh of Li Si upon seeing rats in the granary and rats in the latrine: “Whether a man is noble or base is like a rat—it all depends on where he finds himself.”